Men join Mother's March

Dear Brothers,

We invite you to join our Contingent of Fathers and Other Male Carers as part of the MOTHERS MARCH in London on 13 March.

We will join women in demanding recognition and support for all the work that mothers do, first of all for human survival and against war and injustice. Men are not always aware of what we can learn from our own mothers, grandmothers, partners and friends, who do the work of struggling to feed, protect and care for our families, neighbours, friends, colleagues, in a society that values the market over human life.

The Mothers' March demands that society Invest in Caring, Not Killing. This speaks volumes to those of us who try to be carers despite the immense pressure of longer working days, lower wages and higher unemployment. If we are honest with ourselves we know that we have often resisted taking responsibility for the daily care of children and other loved ones because we could leave it to women in our lives who did that work unprompted. Yet we know that we personally and the whole society would benefit if more men supported their mothers' and partners' demands for recognition and support. It would establish the centrality of caring and command men's respect and commitment.

Campaigning with their soldier-sons, -husbands & -brothers.

Invest in Caring, Not Killing also speaks directly to those of us who refuse to do the killing -- refuseniks and supporters. there were 2,000 cases of soldiers going AWOL last year (over 17,000 since the occupation of Iraq in 2003).(1) "Most incidents are caused by soldiers' domestic circumstances, eg family problems, rather than any wish to avoid military service," an MoD spokesman said. But prioritising family life over killing work is a refusal of the military. And mothers and partners protecting their loved ones from being driven mad, suicidal, alcoholic and homeless by being in the military, and supporting them when they come home damaged, are also the "family problems" that led soldiers to refuse to continue to be part of the military.

Sue Glenton has spoken tirelessly in defence of her refusenik son Joe and all the sons who refuse wars:

"I used to freeze when I heard the word 'Afghanistan' on radio or TV. The sense of relief knowing that it wasn't Joe was soon replaced by a flood of guilt thinking about the families who were receiving the military visit. How many other families anywhere behave the same way, and in Afghanistan how many mothers have the same emotion on a minute by minute basis, how much greater is their concern."

We hope to see you on 13 March on the contingent of fathers and other men who are carers, in support of mothers who have more than supported us. Please circulate this letter among friends, colleagues and family, and be in touch if you would like to help with this historic event in other ways.

Yours for investing in caring and not killing! Refusing to kill is not a crime!

Ben and Michael
Payday men's network
payday@paydaynet.org www.refusingtokill.net

(1) The Independent, 20 February 2010